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Adam4adamn

I am bi and I don’t care what people think about whether it exists or not, I know what I am and I am very open about it. All of my friends who are gay and so many who are gay themselves blow me off when I tell them I am bisexual. It’s like being bisexual is a minority within a minority. Why is it GLBT if no one accepts the B part of it? I am just very confused and I find sometimes that gay people are the ones that can’t get over the labels. Why is this? Why do so many gay people think being bisexual is a cop out or easier than being gay? It is definitely harder because you don’t fit in any community, gay or straight and there is so much more confusion involved.

-Andrea

heya Andria

We understand what you are saying and just want to say that there are many many many people (gay and otherwise) who are totally open and accepting to the idea of bisexuality. Don’t listen to the people who aren’t accepting, they are insecure and just trying to validate themselves. In a perfect world, every human being is bisexual (or pansexual). We all have the capacity to love anyone. When gay people come out of the closet they usually need an identity to hold on to really tight, so they will often criticise anyone else like bi people. But don’t let it bother you. Hang in there and be strong. Lots of huggs. YGA

I think I might be gay. I went out with a couple girls in my life, but all of a sudden, along comes this guy that I think I have a crush on. I hate thinking of myself liking him because I think that it’s wrong for me to be this way. I hate thinking about the day that I’m probably going to end up telling at least one of my friends about my feelings and then they’ll just reject me and spread the word about me at school, and suddenly my entire life will be ruined. But I think that the guy I have a crush on MIGHT be gay/bi or whatever. Is there any sure way to tell? Is there any way to heal this pain I’m going through?

Thanks, Matt

Matt,

As someone who was exactly in your shoes about 6 years ago, I can totally relate to how you are feeling. If it is any help, my life is freakin awesome and in spite of all the crap I felt, like you are feeling right now, and in spite of the fact I thought my friends would all reject me, and inspite of the fact that I thought I would never be happy or in love or find someone, etc etc, my life got better. It takes a bit of time but the healing of the pain you are talking about DOES happen. So the best advice we can give you is to pause, breathe, and don’t worry about it. If you are gay you are gay and that is a great thing.

It sounds like you have a crush on this dude which is healthy and maybe it is just a passing crush. The hard thing is figuring out what your chances are with him. The best way to find out is to ask him, but of course you might not get a clear answer and you run the risk of him freaking out. Your best bet is to test the water a bit. Hang out with him, give him opportunities to talk to you personally, see if there are any indications that he is thinking what you are thinking. If you pretend you are in his shoes but he is actually thinking the same things you are, you can think of what you might do and see if he is doing the same sorta things – dropping clues, bringing up gay topics, and so on. Anyway it is all very frustrating when you don’t want to reveal anything about you. Another approach is to just come out as bi or gay, or hint to a few people that you wouldnt be against “trying it” with another guy – the rumours might be bad, they may not be, but chances are things will not be that bad. Again, there are no guarantees and no easy answers.

The thing to remember though is that it is frustrating but things get better. Take time to breathe. Don’t fret. Everything works out. Your life will never be totally ruined. If you are towards the end of High school, it might make it easier to tell people stuff, but if you are in middle school or at the beginning of high school, well you will have to endure longer amounts of crap from other people.

Hope this is enough to settle your soul a bit. Smile and believe everything will be OK and it will be.

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