Adam4Adamn

Hi this is the first time that I’ve sent in a question to you guys. Well, to my question. I am an openly gay student in high school, and sometimes what people say to me gets to me. Like the other day someone told me that Satan is in me and he is why I have feelings for the same sex. Now my question is how do I respond to those remarks and how do I deal with them?

TW

Hey TW,

Thanks for writing to us!! First of all Satan is not in you. Secondly Satan has nothing to do with your feelings for members of the same sex.

Unfortunately, you have to brace youself for this crap for the rest of high school probably. You can complain to the principal, guidance counselor, a teacher, whomever, but you are probably still going to hear stupid people saying stupid immature things to you because they are ignorant idiots. It is always good to remember that people are making fun of you mostly because they are interested in you and have their own pent up homosexual desires that they are totally afraid of. So instead of dealing with them they distance themselves from gay stuff publicly. Their theory in their little heads is that if they are anti-gay, no one will think they themselves are gay. This is something to keep in mind. Maybe when you feel bold and strong and you have lots of friends around you to back you up and you aren’t afraid for your life you can just say back to them “dude, EVERYONE KNOWS you are gay!”

Are you afraid for your life? Are you going to get beaten up? Have you talked to your parents about this? What would they say? Can you think of someone else who could help you cope with people bugging you? You shouldn’t deal with it alone. You need to have people you can at least talk to about it. Go talk to your guidance counselor maybe. You can always write to us, too. We can try to do our best. Good luck.

I am currently in the closet and I would love to get out. This coming year I will be moving out of my house and going to a Math and Science School. Basically, it’s like I am moving to college two years early. I am emotionally ready to come out, but I just wanted another opinion if I should be out at this new school. I will have a roommate that will be a guy. What do ya think?

Peter

Hey Peter,

First off, we can’t tell you definitively whether or not to come out. The choice is yours to make.

Having said that, we can offer some practical advice. it comes down to whether you want to be out of the closet and whether you’re prepared to deal with anything anti-gay that may come from you being open. if the answer is yes to both of those questions, then you should definitely come out and be proud about the fact that you are opening people’s minds and making other closeted people at your new school feel more accepted and able to come out themselves.

But if you’re not sure about whether or not you’re prepared for what might happen (like, let’s say your roommate turns out to be a total asshole) it might be a good idea to get to school and feel things out for a while before saying anything. You could wait until you get a real good sense of how your roommate and other hallmates would react, for example. You could locate and befriend gay-friendly counselors or teachers or other students at the school. You could basically spend some time secretly mapping out your support network before taking the big step.

There is no right or wrong about it. It’s your life and your choice. Being out is a very freeing thing; it makes you feel confident and honest about yourself and able to form close relationships with people without having to hide something. But a lot of people are in the closet for a long time, simply because they’ve decided that they can’t deal with anti-gay stuff while trying to concentrate on school work, etc.

Above all, make sure to breathe and TAKE YOUR TIME. Don’t do anything until you feel, for yourself, 100% sure about what you’re doing. And keep us posted!!!!

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